On Monday around 7pm the craziest thing happened. I was at Barnes and Noble reading a few random books and drinking my tea when out of no where a nice looking guy comes by and drops a napkin on top of some book I was looking at. At first I thought he said you dropped this, until I opened it up, and it was his name and number. That was the first time anyone has ever just given me their number without knowing one single thing about me. Those ten seconds made my day a whole lot brighter. Ever since my four year relationship ended, I have been in denial that it's over and that the person I grow up with and loved so much was no longer part of my future. As soon as I opened up the napkin my denial went away. Today I made peace with the fact that what we once had is over and the memories I have are beautiful and precious memories that I am so blessed to have. Very few people in this world find genuine love and I should be so grateful that I had the chance to experience something so beautiful and rare for four years of my life. I will keep the memories I have close to my heart, not on my walls, and I will not ask myself what could of or what if questions anymore. It is time to move on and not look back. I believe things happen for a reason, and as much as it may sting to admit this... there is a reason why we are not together anymore, and why he won't be there in my future to continue to watch me grow. It is because of him and his unconditional love and care for me that I have grown to be the woman I am today. He will always be my first love, my first true best friend, and words cannot describe how beyond thankful I am that it was him and not anybody else. So, here is to moving on, not looking back, and allowing room for more napkins with names and numbers to enter my life.
a wiseman once said a boy only becomes a man when he has a women to love him more than he will ever know. from personal experience i too understand that moving on is a heart renching experience. i once had a girl who loved me more than i could ever compare. i was lucky to have a felt love at a young age but foolish for never being able to realize what a true blessing it was. i know that break ups are not easy nor comfortable. particularily when the person evolves into ur other half. i know when my lover and i broke up it was heart renching. it felt as though all of sudden there was a vast emptiness in the part of my chest where my heart used to be. oddly enough i think the girl whom i loved never knew how much i cryed when we said our goodbye. in truth i cryed more than i have ever in my whole life when i mean i cryed like a baby i mean i moaned as though i wetre crying out mommy but instead i moaned her name and i felt my body turn ice cold as if i had seen death itself! it must have been one of my lowest points in my life. i felt as though i had plunged ,myself into anabyss of mixed emotions unable to see any sign of light or direction. so in regards to moving on im proud of you cuz frankly i continue to tremble everywhere i go since im reminded of her sweet loving adorable prence whichstirred my blood and inspired me to be the better man. as for you i will carry your heart everywhere i go i will carry your heart in my heart!
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