For the past two-ish months I have been feeling dead inside. No matter what I do, I have this empty feeling following me, a shadow that won't go away.It's like I am sleep walking through life and I can't be woken up, numb. I feel like a dead ghost walking that's been over dosed with electric shock therapy. I have done things that I have been waiting very patiently to do just to come to the realization that it felt empty, as if it never even happened. I feel like I have a very empty heart without my best friend. I miss my best friend. My best friend is like no elses best friend. My best friend and I have built a friendship that sooooo many people wish for, yet so few get. My best friend and I built a friendship on pure genuine trust, honesty, and communication, the three pillars which are needed to form a lasting relationship. We were a perfect balance. My weaknesses were his strengths and my strengths were his weaknesses. We were there to encourage one another when no one else would. I found pure joy in watching him succeed and reach his goals. We genuinely cared and wanted the best for one another not ever expecting anything in return, unlike others. We had a connection that was in tune with our souls. We finished each others sentences and understood what the other was feeling when no one else could. My best friend was the only person who I could truly let me wall down around and be my stubborn self. He knew the words to my heart when I had forgotten them. I was once told that everyone walks around with a half soul, the other half is missing until you find the right person who makes you feel whole, your soul mate. He is my better half, the half of my soul that was missing, my soul mate. The day my best friend said goodbye to me I have never in my life cried as much or as hard as I did on December 29-2009. There was an odd feeling in my chest, a feeling that I never felt before. The part of me that was always filled, suddenly went empty. It was a physical emptiness, vacant feeling in my chest, in my soul. At that point a great cold chill came over my body, and I came to the realization that it was my best friends sweet measure of his soul that added so much happiness to my existence. I miss my best friend and the closeness we shared through our friendship. I know that he is a true blessing that has touched my life and inspired me to become a better person and to be the person I am today. Anyone who gets to meet this great soul, treat him well because after all he is my best friend and true blessing and gift to enter your life and if you hurt him I WILL come after you. I will always love him, care for him, and want the best for him.
Hi
ReplyDeletePreciuos Girl..
Dump everyone who is not worth any of your moments.Not even one minute your further life.You need to recognize it. Look at the mirror PRECIUOS GIRL,smile and see your beauty in fullness see great moments comming on your way.
Sometimes, through pain comes the most beautifull experience and the most beautifull you will emerge ,like pain giving birth and separeting from the love from inside, but YOU need to recognize it.Only YOU have to do that, purge youself pick up the best pieces from the past and with smile dive in to the future.
PRECIUOS GIRL!!!!!!It takes courage to do that.Smack all illussions, BRAVE, PRECIOUS girl.
Look around... your silent Angel Guardian is knocking , taping at your shoulder...smiling, don't miss that.
Sometimes little Devil is playing games from inside, like black and white , like Devil and Angel and you turn around , but Devil is rotating with you and , again you can't see him.
Trying to hold you up...It takes a lot experience to recognize it.
HI PRECIOUS GIRL
Have you look at mirror TODAY???
Have you seen that person looking at you from the mirror, smilling from the top of the world???
Hello, You don't need anybody to be your another half.. You are THE WHOLE, VERY valuable WHOLE.
Hi there :) I just found your blog and this heart wrenching post ... it made me cry and it is so beautifully written. Even though I've only met you a few times, I can tell your soul is old and pure and very wise.
ReplyDeleteLast July, I too lost one of my very best friends and wrote posts very similar to this one. I can relate still to the emptiness you feel, as I felt it too when my best friend said good bye, even though we both still cared for each other deeply. It wasn't our time ... and only 6 months later, I met a new best friend who is showing my parts of myself I never knew I would see again. So hold on tight to your heart, be your own best friend in times like this, and know we have more than one "best friend" in a life time :) And ... if we are lucky, we can keep in touch with all those special friends who connect to our soul. If you ever want to talk, please feel free to e-mail me :)
Hugs - Lindsay